How NOT to Feel Like You Are on the Outside Looking in with Your Blog

This morning I received a follow up email from someone.

I had read an email of theirs the prior day. The individual seemed like their heart was in the right place. Good vibes overall. But they wanted to place a link on my blog and they came in cold. Stranger. In essence, they were on the outside looking in, being an outsider, or not being an insider, in my blogging circle of buddies.

After the previous email I suggested commenting on my blog, promoting some of my posts and getting to know me until we built a friendship. Give it a few months at least, I advised. Then maybe I can mention them once the bond builds and if the link they offer aligns with my blog and brand.

Their follow up email contained the common excuse; the individual said they were on a tight deadline and did not have the time to put into building a relationship. Of course, if you have no time to build relationships you have no time to be successful because you will always be on the outside looking in.

The Fear Thing

This person’s excuse is common to all outsiders aka strangers aka bloggers who cold pitch fellow bloggers to get links placed: I do not have the time to build relationships because I am under a strict deadline.

This excuse is based in fear. Said blogger fears running out of time or losing money or losing clients. This crowd allows the fear of loss to drive them into doing silly things which guarantee their online failure.

Each day becomes an endless struggle to contact enough strangers to get lucky enough to place one link a day, if that.

Do you see how doing things mainly from a place of fear warps your mind and kills your blogging campaign, cutting it off at the knees?

A Better Approach

I already forgot this individual’s name. I recall the experience, but not the human being, because I get many cold, pitching emails like this from strangers off of the cyber street.

I do however remember Lisa Sicard of Inspire to Thrive. She has promoted me for years. She has endorsed me for years. She has bought my eBooks and has published positive reviews on Amazon.

Lisa’s a friend. She is also a skilled blogger. So she gets a mention on this rocking blog because she patiently built a friendship with me.

See how that works?

Ditto for David Boozer of That Evergreen Life. He patiently promoted me, endorsed me, interviewed me and purchased every single one of my blogging eBooks.

Ditto for Alonzo Pichardo of Alonzo Pichardo Dot Com. Alonzo actually found me through David’s recommendations. He has interviewed me, promoted me, allowed me to guest post on his blog and he buys my audio books too.

These 3 generous human beings put in the time and energy to build a bond. They found me and helped me out without asking for a darn thing. I began to promote them and endorse them and comment on their blogs or did interviews with them or guest posted on their blogs, friendships formed, and so many sugary sweet benefits sprouted out of our friendships.

Meanwhile, if the same person who emailed me the past few days doesn’t change their tune, they will face the same struggles 1 year or even 5 years from now, because you cannot outwork your fears and you cannot succeed online without being generous and without building a strong, growing friend network.

Your Turn

How are you building your friend network?


I recorded a video on Facebook explaining this concept.

Click the play button and enjoy.

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Disclosure: In full disclosure, it is safe to assume that the site owner is benefiting financially or otherwise from everything you click on, read, or look at while on my website. This is not to say that is the case with all content, as all publications on the site are original and written to provide value and references to our audience.


  1. Shantanu Sinha October 28, 2017
    • Ryan Biddulph October 29, 2017
  2. Rama Krishna October 28, 2017
  3. Lisa Sicard October 28, 2017
    • Ryan Biddulph October 29, 2017