This may be a prickly question to answer honestly. I know. I spent a minute blaming folks for my blogging failures.
As a matter of fact, the guy who helped get me into the blogging and online money making game nearly a decade ago was one such backboard of mine. I blamed him for not helping me. I blamed him for keeping me out in the cold, for not being responsive, for not assisting me, for not being mindful of my newbie needs.
But it was never about him. Always about me.
Here’s why: success sprouts from your energy…..NOT from outside sources. Including coaches. Because coaches can lead you in the right direction. Or the wrong direction. But ultimately, even if you appear to be ignored, or misled, that outside energy – aka, blogging mentor – cannot energetically be held responsible for your failures.
Nothing outside of you controls your life.
Does this Give Dead Beat Mentors the Green Light to Ignore You or to Forget Your Newbie-Ness?
Loving mentors will help you. Loving mentors compassionately guide you without hand-holding. Loving mentors inspire, educate and entertain, leaving the rest up to you.
These folks would never ignore you. These folks would never forget the struggles they faced as a newbie.
But the fearful blogging mentor may ignore you, largely, or forget where you are on your journey. This individual may forgo compassion for tough love, and then, forgo tough love for being an a-hole.
At this point, you have 2 choices: blame a fearful individual for their human-ness or own your experience to free yourself, to show compassion for your mentor and to blog predominantly from a place of love.
Yeah I know: I am no Biddulph Buddha. I did not take this enlightened view towards blogging and blogging mentors as a newbie, or as a struggling veteran blogger. I recall having a choice few words for my mentor during the lean days. But I also noticed a shift a few years after I faced my own demons: the only reason I attracted a seemingly Dead Beat Blogging Mentor was because I had deep fears in me which I needed to clear out, in order to blog more from Love (and less from Fear) and to become more successful than I never dreamed of.
- complain that your blogging mentor does not get back to you
- complain that your blogging mentor does not respond quickly enough to your emails
- blame your mentor for your failures
- believe that your blogging mentor lacks compassion
- feel that your blogging mentor has gone Big Time and won’t help you because you are not a big name blogger
….instead of getting angry at your blogging mentor, send them a gift. Send them a Paypal donation. Help them out.
These seeming jerks or uppity bloggers reflected back to you fears *you* need to face, embrace and release to reach your next level of blogging success.
Everybody is a mirror. When you see someone in a negative light, you see yourself in a negative light. This is why blaming someone for your failure – even if you hired them to coach you, or even if you have built a friendship with a pro blogger and assume they will help you – is silly, and destructive. Individuals come into your experience to reveal your attachments, to expose your fears and to help clear low energy baggage you clung to, stuff that needs to go if you want to succeed with your blog.
Have you found yourself complaining about a blogging mentor recently? Or do you take a more enlightened approach to this topic?
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