Fear of Failure or Fear of Success?

Are you building an online presence with your blog? Do you hold back when you should be forging onward? Do you question where you plan to go with your blog or your writing career?

You do most of the right things, but when it comes down to it, you slack off or stay just under the radar. Is it failure you fear, or even worse, maybe it’s success you fear. Have you thought about it?

Most would say they have fear of failure, but if the truth is known and pinpointed, I think it’s actually fear of success. There can be a thin line between the two.

If you fail at something, no one really has to know. In many circumstances it can be your secret, or you can make up excuses that it just wasn’t working out for you. But success—you can’t hide that. If you make a success of your blog, your writing career—or anything else, other people will know about it and then you’re put on the spot or in the lime light. That can be a scary thought for some people. You may even be put under a microscope and personal issues surface. You won’t be so anonymous any more.

I ask this question because I know several writers, myself included, who seem to be more afraid of success than we are of failure. Success is out of our comfort zone. I’m not saying that failure is in our comfort zone, but with success comes more responsibility and the possibility of being thrown into the public life. Our cozy little world could be disrupted.

What if you become a success but the money isn’t flowing in yet. People might discover that you live in a small house or apartment—you don’t have all the stuff that successful people are supposed to have yet. What if you have to change? Is your personality good enough for others to see? Maybe you’re over weight or way too thin even. Maybe you don’t think you’re pretty enough or smart enough except in your area of expertise. What if you’re invited to give a presentation—you know—in front of all those people.

These questions may seem a bit silly, but they are definite concerns of some people who fear success. It’s easy to hide behind the computer screen and pick out your best picture for your profile. It’s not so easy when it comes to the face to face meetings and possible chance that someone else may take photos of you in public. That may seem a bit drastic, but it does happen.

My biggest fear of success may seem a bit corny, but it’s the fear of not being in control of my life; not being able to call the shots. If I reach huge success will I still be able to call those shots, or does the success itself take over and dictate my life? Successful people are supposed to be in control, but can I be sure that’s true?

What can be done to over come the fear of success? Well, for me personally, I take things slower than I should. It gives me time to hone my skills and get comfortable with each step and each process along the way. It’s definitely not the fast track, but it’s the track that suits me.

The first thing you need to do is decide exactly what you’re afraid of; is it failure or success? If success is your fear, you need to figure out exactly what it is about success you’re afraid of, no matter how silly you may think it is, it still has an affect on your life and your success—or lack of.

I didn’t even realize I had fear of success until I was doing research on the subject. I discovered that I follow certain patterns that keep me just under that radar I mentioned earlier. It was quite eye-opening. Does it bother me? Not in the sense you might think—it bothers me that it’s something I haven’t had control of because I was unaware of it.

If you have concerns that your career just isn’t taking off like you want it to, check out the signs of self-sabotage and see if any of them ring true for you. A good article is: How Fear of Success Works.

Once you realize you have a problem and acknowledge it–it is easier to tackle.

Here’s to your success!

Image courtesy: http://www.eyehook.com/free/scary.html

Written by Patti Stafford from Patti Stafford
Posted on January 20th, 2010 and filed under Writing
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