It’s a dirty fact of the Web: When you combine anonymity with an instant global voice, which the Internet does perfectly, you’re going to run into a lot of jerks.
It is amazing how quickly common sense and basic courtesy get thrown out the window as people people call one another names, tell lies, spread rumors and do whatever they can to hurt the people on the other side of the connection. It is sad, frustrating and petty. However, it is all too easy to do when you forget that there are human beings at the other end of every computer.
Still, whether you are a casual blogger or a massively wealthy professional blogger, you’re going to run into people who don’t like you and make that known both off and on your site.
As such, it is important to know how to handle such situations so you avoid letting them drag both you and your work down to their level.
1. Keep Your Comments Civil
The first and most important place to start is on your own site, especially in your own comments or your own forum if you have one.
It is important to require that all user-uploaded content meet criteria for your site. This means not only ensuring that it isn’t spam, but also that it is civilized and respectful.
On my sites, I have a rule that it is acceptable to express any viewpoint that is on topic, but personal attacks are strictly forbidden. It is one thing to argue the merits of a viewpoint, but another to attack the people expressing them.
If a comment or a post crosses the line, delete it or edit it as appropriate and, whatever you do, do not show any favoritism for commenters you agree with. Keeping an even keel is crucial.
If you don’t allow personal attacks on your site, you immediately go a long way to making your site a better place for all commenters, not just yourself as an author.
2. Delete Emails and IMs
Though it seems most who want to harass enjoy doing so in a public sphere, some will also use email and IM to annoy bloggers or others on the Web they do not like.
The simplest solution to these unwanted messages is to ignore them. If they become too harassing, you can filter out the incoming emails and/or blog the IM accounts being used. If the person continues to be harassing and/or becomes threatening, you can look at the email headers to discover who their ISP and mail providers are and, if needed, notify them of the abuse.
However, the main thing is to not engage back. If someone has already contacted you with a tone that shows an intent to harass and annoy, any attempt to reason or make amends will likely just fan the flames and draw out the incident.
3. On Other Sites
In addition to comments and emails, some will also take the opportunity to post colorful and interesting opinions at other sites, either using forums or their own blogs.
These are tough situations to deal with because, even if the harsh words amount to libel, there is very little one can do about it. Unlike with copyright, there is no way to secure removal of libelous content as hosts, under U.S. law, have no obligation to do so.
The only response in these cases is, if possible, to file suit.
If the work is posted on a community site, such a forum, you might be able to get it removed by contacting the admins. Likely they have community guidelines similar to the ones I mentioned for blog comments. However, if they refuse a polite request to do so, there isn’t much more one can do.
Once again though, engaging and responding is almost certainly a bad idea. Once someone has already thrown good manners and respect to the wind, any attempt to explain, correct or interact is only going to make things worse.
4. Developing a Thick Skin
One of the most important things any blogger can develop resilience to insults, especially if they are going to be involving themselves in any political controversies.
Sadly, there is no real key or secret to developing a tough exterior. Some of it is a matter of nature, certain people seem to take such insults better than others, but much of it is learning how to walk away from a confrontation and distance yourself mentally from those who try to hurt you.
If you find yourself getting emotionally invested in a dispute, it’s best to end it there and walk away. Sometimes, for your own sanity, it is best to allow the other person to get the last word.
Your pride has to take a back seat to your overall happniess.
5. The Most Important Thing
In the end, don’t worry too much about how trolls and those who hate you will affect other’s opinions of you. Even if you run a business, everyone expects a few negative reviews.
The most important things to dealing with those who don’t like you on the Web is to make sure they are in the minority.
If you treat others with respect, create good content, keep your promises and try to do the right thing, for every person who hates you, ten will probably sing your praises. They may disagree with you, but they will respect you and it will show.
Bottom Line
In the end, the Web is a nasty place at times and, no matter how good of a person you are, some people are going to hate you. It’s a fact of life.
The best thing you can do is be prepared for it, understand your rights when you are in that situation and, most importantly, not let it get to you or stop your work, whatever it may be.
If you’re doing something that you feel is worthwhile, then it is too important to even consider stopping it because one person goes overboard with his disagreement. It is that simple.
IMO you should not edit the unwelcome message,
just simply delete or put into spam box if it's out of your blogging rule.
I must note that staying silent and walking away is sometimes bad decision.
I had seen quite a few conflicts (quite agressive and… vocal ones) that were pure misunderstanding. It is easy to get wrong what someone is trying to say online.
These are quickly and easily resolved. Of course it may be genuine troll and malice but I think at least initial attempt to clear things up is required before walking away.
That was some wonderful suggestion. But the point is one should specify certain instructions regarding comment posting. Or putting into spam is another viable option. One should try to not make things ugly because that will lead to no man's zone.
Yeah, we have to assume that we can't always get positive feedback from the readers. I agree with the methods given. In other word, we have to specify rules on our site. A page for our blog policy, maybe?
Excellent advice. I have seen really mean and nasty comments on other sites. If I see that the site owner doesn't seem to care enough to moderate these comments, I normally just stray away from those sites.