Deborah NgAre Your Comments Stressing You Out?

The bigger a blog gets, and the more people who comment, the more a blogger has to pay special attention to the comments. All I ask from my commentators is that they are nice to each other. Sometimes though, comments stress me out.

I’m fortunate in that my Freelance Writing Job blogs gets lots of comments. It’s a true community where people share ideas and offer help to each other. I’m so proud of the community and worked hard to get people to visit and participate.

The problem is now and then the conversation gets a little “spirited” and someone crosses the line. What do I do? Leave up the comment and insult the person it’s directed towards? Leave up the comment and risk driving my readers away from what they consider a “hostile” community? Or take down the comment and insult the person who left it?

It’s rare I delete comments. If I do it’s because the commentator was insulting to my community, me or a guest blogger, or left a vulgar remark. It has nothing to do with disagreeing. Indeed there are ways to disagree in a respectful manner. Keyboard Courage, the anonymity granted to us by the Internet, somehow causes some people to say things they wouldn’t say another’s face in public. I think a good rule of thumb is to treat others as you would treat them in real life.

When commenting:

  • Be nice.
  • Be respectful of another’s point of view.
  • Rebut without resorting to insults or name-calling.
  • Offer something of value to the conversation.
  • Make others want to know you better.

I don’t think any blogger should have to spend a day agonizing over whether or she made the correct decision in moderating a comment. Why be proud of building a community when all they do is snipe at each other? My first responsibility will always be towards my community.Thus, if someone crosses the line, he or she will be moderated. Even though we don’t see each other, the Internet is the real world. If you can’t be nice, you’ll have to play in someone else’s sandbox.

Deborah Ng Written by Deborah Ng from Freelance Writing Jobs
Posted on February 24th, 2008 and filed under Blogging
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7 Responses to “Are Your Comments Stressing You Out?”

Author comments are in a darker gray color for you to easily identify the posts author in the comments

  1. :smile: Well, after reading your post I do agree with it.If i do running such a great ommunity like you,having unwanted commenting with no respect to writer….I would then go on kicking them to uapprove status! :grin:

  2. Wess Stewart says:

    Perhaps I view the world with disdain, but in my world, if they bring a negative comment to MY open forum I have two options.

    1. Ignore and delete the comment, thereby starting a war with the commenter, thereby dealing with things like ‘hey, you deleted my comment! censorship! racism! you’re site stinks!’ and dealing with the stress involved with the idiocy, or…

    2. Verbally beat the living crap out of the commenter with some non-offensive choice of my unique prose, such as ‘lol…you goon…’ and feel much better in the long run, knowing that I gave him a chance to say what he/she felt, and in all fairness, spoke my piece.

    After all, if a blog sucks so badly that you need to insult the author, just unsubscribe to the RSS, delete the site from your bookmarks, and move along to your next victim.

    Or perhaps it’s because I’m a Texan that I feel this way…

    Nah!

  3. Holly says:

    On another site of mine I find myself constantly having to moderate comments. It isn’t a huge site, but it gets a decent amount of comments, although some of them are mean or ignorant of what is being talked about and only there to “troll”. But what can you expect when you run a political feminist site, huh?

  4. Another great post Deborah, and im with you on this one. the only reason i delete comments is if they are disrespectful, or blatent spam, other than that, i encourage comments. it gives your community a voice, and when people do leave comments, they are contributing to your community and over-all blogging success.

  5. Martin Welch says:

    I agree with you! I think those who leave their comments should respect what other people are thinking. They should not be harsh in leaving their comments.. :D

  6. AsiaPartTime says:

    I have the problem with the comments.
    One of the bank from Cyprus emailed us.
    They request us to remove some comment which just involved their name.
    I never think this thing get so serious.

    If your commentor left you some bad comment which involved 3rd party.
    Do you have any Law protection against such case?

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