Classic corporate subterfuge: Writing the email blog

If you’re like many of us, you’re working in your boring, dead-end office job for just one reason: you need a quiet place with internet access where you can update your blog. (Also, it helps you pay for rent and food and stuff. But mostly jobs are about blogging, right?)

Even if you love your job, there are few who can resist the lure of a half-hour of downtime and a quiet desk in the corner. Sometimes, you just gotta blog. Alas, less progressive bosses and supervisors don’t always look kindly on this use of company time and materials, so sometimes bloggers need to get creative.

The best way to secretly blog in an office is by writing your post in the form of an email. Most office jobs require a lot of emailing, after all. If your boss walks up behind you and sees an Outlook box open on your monitor and you assiduously typing, she’s probably not going to give it a second thought.

However, it’s still a good idea to obfuscate a little more. Most work emails are short: a long email – like, say, a blog entry disguised as an email – will look suspiciously like a personal email to a friend. Disguise your entry by breaking parts of it into numbered lists – a list implies efficiency and professionalism, and you can remove the numbers just before you post. You can also try saving each paragraph as an email draft and then starting a new paragraph, to make your work appear shorter.

One dead giveaway is a blank “to” line. However, you don’t want to stick the CEO’s email in the line and then accidentally hit “send” instead of “save.” I suggest using the email address of a sympathetic co-worker, an external friend, or a dummy address you’ve registered to yourself. If you can add some addresses in the CC line, even better.

When the time comes to post your entry, you’ll choose your moment, then cut and paste into your blog when your boss isn’t looking. I did this once, pasting a blog entry that began “I have gotten absolutely nothing done today.” A few minutes later, my boss was at my computer and we cut and pasted something else. It turned out I hadn’t quite managed to cut that second time, so my blog entry showed up in all its glory in front of my boss. Fortunately she was amused, but take my example to heart. As soon as you’ve finished with the entry, clear your clipboard.

Of course, if all this subterfuge is unappealing, you might consider another option: being honest. Many employers recognize that employees need some mental downtime now and then. When things aren’t busy or you’re on a break, a blog isn’t the worst way to spend your time. You can reassure employers that you’re not posting negative things about the company by letting them see your site. (If you are posting negative stuff about the company, you will probably find the fundamental flaw in this strategy.)